cuke15's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ashley, depression, the perfect girl Well, yesterday, after Ashley and I had a talk. She took what I said and decided it was a good idea to break up with me. So now that that's over.. I'm single. It's ok though, I was sick of Stephanie anyways. She was fucking dictating the whole fucking relationship and it was better that she was pushed out of my life. I skipped school again to play guitar and clean my room. I'm beginning to get really depressed and there is currently no one around willing to even give a fuck. I will live though, I just need to find a new girl and move on. I can't be depressed like this because I know if I am I will become self-destructive and that just isn't right. I feel really empty inside and there isn't much I can do about it. I don't know how or what I can do about it. All I can do is sit and wait and do nothing. I have a killer fucking headache. I had a dream last night that Chrissy and I were actually getting along. It was fucked up. It was like she wanted to go back out with me. Hence, it was a dream and not real. Oh well, I don't know what to do anymore. I really need to find someone to talk to, but most people are just fucking annoying or are too fucking weird to talk to. I wouldn't mind Heather or Shawn, but they are too wrapped up in each other. There are a few other people, but they don't usually use the phone. I want someone who cares, not just someone who goes "Whats wrong?" and "Be happy". People think I should go out with Heather Hunter, but I don't think that will work because sometimes my feelings get hurt by her. I don't want that to happen, plus I don't think her parents like me after they read a note that she and I were writing. I'll talk to her about it, then maybe something will happen. There is also Sheri, Briana, Heather (Saylor), and a few others. "I haven't been this scared, in a long time"- "Going Away to College" by Blink182 I'm suddenly not even going to give a fuck about school, because something has came over me where I just don't care about how things are going. I don't know. I just want things to be cured. I want to be with the perfect girl. And there are plenty perfect girls for me. But it's only going to work if i'm the perfect boy for them. Oh yeah, if you want to give me a suggestion on who to ask out, CLICK HERE. I'm going to see if Shawn can spend the weekend with me. That'd be awesome. *sigh* "Adam's Song" just came on my Stereo. I guess I just want to be with someone. Someone I could go on dates with, someone I can hold and be with, someone I could talk to. That's what I want. I don't know what I'm going to do tonight. I need someone that's not that weird that I can talk to. I wish it was Heather, but I don't know if that will work. We'll see. Music Today: Well I guess that's all Love Tim 12:11:51 - 2000-05-17 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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