cuke15's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- my emotions today.. good and bad.. Well, here I am in 5th Period. Progressing slowly on a newsletter we're formatting. It is actually challenging and fun at the same time. I actually brought my World History book for next period so Mrs. Mixon can't open her fat mouth. Billy says she has a hamburger face now, as compared to last year. I just think she's screwed up in the mind. I don't have to go to school tomorrow, thank God. Mom says I don't, that is way too cool. Jamie is sitting right next to me. She's pretty cool. I'm bored. Katie is supposed to save me a seat on the bus today so that'll be cool. I have to talk to her about some problems I'm not really in tune to tell anyone else about. Jamie is updating her diary!! WooHoo!! Special. Anyways, i'm very cold today.. what is it like.. 60 degrees outside? That's cold. It must have been in the 50's earlier. I've lived in Georgia for too long if that seems cold, right? Oh well. I head Chrissy still thinks I look like a rapist. I'm very happy she's still talking stuff, that just shows who is above her. I love her so much and she is still talking about me. I have no angst what so ever for her, and I deserve better than what she's given/giving me. I'm glad she's happy, but I won't stand for her talking about me. I didn't do anything to her since we agreed not to talk until we both agree to be friends (well, that won't work in my opinion, so it may as well be until she decides I deserve another chance, if ever). I don't really care right now, really, i'm just showing ya'll how rude she is. I got Laura and I like her alot.. It's obvious too. I want to kiss her so bad, but at times it's hard (for instance, 2nd period). She knows I care though. Billy's dad is worried about me, he can feel my pain and suffering from Chrissy. He is like my only father-figure that lives here. I don't know, he tells me he's there for me, and I actually believe/trust in him. He says that I can't control all of my life, it's impossible, he says that I should pray and tell Jesus to take control of my life. That was done last night, and I've been so much more happier today. I've been more honest, more of my friends have been talking to me, it's all been good. Hell, today I finally realized all the stuff she was talking. I'd take her back, no doubt, but not if I'm with Laura. I like Laura too much right now. It is wierd though, you know? You never know how things work. I can say that Laura and I are a weird couple because we are such good friends. But wouldn't that mean that me and Chrissy were the perfect couple, since we aren't friends at all? I don't know. It's just something to think about. I think in a while, if we get that far (and hopefully we do), that we will work on making it more perfect. I don't know, it's just starting right now, so you never know. I gave up reading Heather's and Chrissy's diary. They both give me very bad memories about Chrissy. I don't really care about her right now, as I am getting over her, I'm just saying.. I don't need to be reminded of her at this time. It's bad enough she won't be quiet in 6th Period. Everyone notices it to, Mrs. Mixon just doesn't care to stop her. The bad part is, I usually like it when Chrissy talks, but not when I'm in this state. I don't know. I know people are going to be upset/mad at me when they read this.. All I can say is I'm sorry, and this is how I am feeling. I want to be with Laura right now, and I don't know who can effect that. I just don't want anyone to feel bad about all of this. I am sorry. But, hey, what is a diary for? Love, Tim Gotta Go, 5 minutes until the bell. P.S. Shout out to Katie right here!!! 13:59:13 - 1999-12-07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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