cuke15's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Katie (surprisingly) Well, Shout out to my newest (well, depends on how you look at it) & probably influencial friend: Katie. Life has never been better. Not with Chrissy, not with anyone. OK.. Katie is my first love. I had tons of girlfriends before (and after) her, but she was the first I ever felt love her. I abused her, harassed her, verbally harassed her, and all... and she still wants to be friends. That makes me SO very happy. It's because she deserves happiness. As she said.. "deep down inside, when you love someone, it is always there, it may change, just as I don't love you as I did before, but I love you as hopefully soon a really good friend as before". It wasn't exactly that.. but that's basically it. I didn't mean to like, invade your privacy on that one Katie, i'll take it off if you want. I don't think that was that big of a deal though. She is very smart. She is the only female I have met who can change my opinions completely from one extreme to another within a few words. Chrissy can change them, but not to the extremes Katie can. I love Chrissy more as a girlfriend then a friend. I love Katie more as a friend then a girlfriend. Plus Katie didn't do anything to not deserve my friendship. But I'm really upset about Heather.. it's like all she talks about is Chrissy, i'm not jealous or anything, it's just i'm trying to get over her, and here is my girlfriend.. talking about her every single minute of the day. It freaks me out, dude, scares me. Shout outs right here to Shawn (Katie, you know him), Billy (Katie, your ex. :P), Heather, Liz's mom, Laura (you saved my life, bitch, I owe you), and of course Katie (you saved my life, felt love for me, kept love over the course of 3 years, lost my friendship, regained my friendship, and made an impact on my life... thank you). No one understands how much just having contact with Katie has cheered me up, and put a different perspective on my life. I don't think I even want to drop out anymore because of her. She said that I did the suicide shit with her before, and I told her my only real explanation was love... which applied to her and Chrissy. I hope she calls me tomorrow. That would rule. I haven't talked to her in forever though, so it might be kind of hard. I think I might actually write her a note tonight. The hard part will be when to give it to her. Katie made me beautiful on the inside by showing me love. She taught me love never fades away, love always stays there, in one form or another. That's why I conclude by saying Chrissy never loved me, if she doesn't now. Katie is in me... most of my relationships with girls reflect the one with her. It's obvious now that I look at it (and I haven't looked at it until tonight). I'm not trying to flatter you Katie. But lets see, what can I remember about Katie... Address: 706 _____ Drive (I won't fill that one in), phone number... 882-85__ .. or was that Danielles? There is alot I can remember.. I remember with my heart I guess. Let your heart lead you not your head, because your heart's reward is very very very very very very very very very better than anything your head can ever give you. All I can say is that I am sorry that love never changes to really really caring, Chrissy. I hate to say it. This is one thing I know. Love is always there, in one form or another. So don't say you loved me. That's why when I gave you that Eve6 lyric sheet with "Showerhead" i never underlined "I loved you"... coz I love you, not I loved you. I don't know what to say.. except I'm really happy. That's all I'm feeling. Everything with Chrissy was put to a fucking minimum right now, just because God is rewarding me with a friendship. This friendship i've wanted back for about 2 years. I'm glad i'm back to myself, and i'm glad i'm happy. Now i'll only be upset in 2nd and 6th, and soon i'll get over that and not pay attention. Love Tim P.S. So many lessons learned today: 1) Even though things haven't been alright for 2 years or so, things can always change. Never give up hope. 2) Confide in your heart not in your head. 3) Value a friendship, it is worth more than anything. 4) __________________________ (Katie's privacy) So many lessons reinforced today: 1) Love never ends. 2) Love can change. 3) Love will give you another chance. 4) Love is the best thing that ever happens to anyone. 21:52:33 - 1999-12-01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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