cuke15's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Heather, Michelle, etc It's 2 in the morning, so when I say "Yesterday", it means not too long ago. Yesterday, Heather Holmes called and told me I seemed alot happier. I am. I'm not going to feel sorry for myself when someone says I should move further than Athens, like maybe Augusta. Some people are blonde.. Augusta isn't as far as Athens. I told her I'm not going to feel sorry for myself. So, at about 8:30 PM I went online and started talking to Heather Holmes, we stayed online for 5 hours and 20 minutes. Lets see whatchamacallit stay on til 1:50 in the morning. Word, yo. I think I am falling for Heather.. well I know I am. Dude, we aren't going out.. but we practically made out on the internet. She said "I love you" a couple of times, I said it a couple. I know I want to be with her, but at the same time, I know she'll move away. She really likes me, and I really like her. The other factor is I actually have to wait and get these feelings with whachamacaller out. I've only done this suicide shit with one other person (Amber) back in like 1995. I ain't like that. Not going to be, either. I think Chrissy deserved to be worried. But I apologize to all my other friends, most of whom were crying. Ya'll have permission to hurt me. Kim is sick.. that sucks. I hope you get better sweetie. I don't think it'll be too much longer with these sick ass feelings about whatchamacaller.. coz she treats/treated me cruel, it's just speeding me up.. not making me feel more sorry. The suicide attempt/threat (both) stemmed from me trying to make her happy, it's hard to explain, maybe later. I guess I just did it because I wanted to show her how much I care. But all she can say is something blonde like "I hope he moves to Augusta". Atleast, that's what a friend told me she (either him or Kevin said). I think now I'm just going to stay here, just because she said that shit. There are plenty of girls down here for me. And even so, I don't need one right now. I'm going to stay single then get one. I know 5 people, 100%, who I have positive proof they like me. Ashley, Heather, Heather, Michelle W., and Liz. You could probably say Stephanie too, but she's just a friend. Then you got Alicia and Nicole, who a reliable source have told me they like me. I think Tammy might like me. I know Michelle likes me, but we made an agreement last year... "if I ever think it'll work out again, i'll come back". Me and Michelle P.have grown as friends since that day. Physically (as in looks), I would be with Michelle P. any day, I don't know about emotionally. She gets me thinking. She has told me she never wants sex.. (thats not a big deal.. unless you think about it in the long run), she wants to rule the world (literally), she will cheat on any boy if this one old flame comes back down for vacation, plus she is very strong on her opinions, and is only flexible when she really likes someone. Like me, last year. I still remember last year when I would call Michelle at about 8 PM and we'd talk til about 3 AM. I would be like "hey babe, you sleepy?" and she was half way asleep and wouldn't answer.. i'd be like "hey, i'll let you go, OK?" and she'd say "No, I don't want to go" and I'd be like "you need your rest, babe" and she'd be like "are you sure" and I'd be like "yeah". Hmm.. Why am I telling you this? Because to know that someone actually wants to fall asleep with me on the phone is something that gets to me. One time I actually fell asleep before her.. and I woke up at 4 AM and I was like "Michelle?" and she didn't answer.. so I hung up. She said she liked that when I fell asleep. I don't know. I fell so badly in love with her after that I was too critical of the relationship. Too serious, she broke up with me on day #13. That's when we made the agreement. I don't think I'll ever go back to her, though. I don't think she'll ever take me, either. We've became really good friends�that's more important. I was intending on writing this whole thing about Heather, I don't know how it got to Michelle. Oh well, the more I talk about everything the more you know about me. The wierdest thing happened... earlier me and Heather were playing Stroke 9.. and I was letting it run through and she was flipping around.. and when we were typing song lyrics.. to "not nothin'" we both entered the same lines of the same song at the same time.. within 1 second of each other. That's weird right there, don't try to tell me it's not. The part of the song about "hanging with other monkeys.. thinkin of shit to say.. what am i doin here anyways?" only happens once in the song. Amanda has my Eve 6 CD.. I'll have to wait until Friday morning to get that. I gotta go to the video store tomorrow and return my videogame. Rented it 5 whole days. I learned how to play the bass line part of "Sunday Morning" by No Doubt. It took me about 35 times to get it right at a slow speed. Now I can do it perfectly at a slow speed... perfectly after about 10 times at a moderate speed... can't do it at normal (fast) speed. I was listening to "Counterfeit" by Limp Bizkit at the supermarket Yesterday, in the car. The bass was rattling the plastic speaker covers.. It was phat. Jeremy screwed with the settings to make it rap (bass dramatically higher then treble) setting. I think I am about to go to bed, i'm getting tired and it's 2:39.. I'll fall asleep to some Violent Femmes, probably. Oh Yeah, Zoe, MoOOooOOOoOOOo, you're playin the field from what your diary says. Good work, keep them men in check. Well, I just got new mail.. so i'll let you go.. then i'm going to bed.. until later today, probably. Love Tim P/S MoOOoOOOOoOOooO "C'mon dad.. gimmie the car tonight.. i got this girl.. i wanna.. BOInNNNnnNNG" - Violent Femmes 02:26:56 - 1999-11-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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