cuke15's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Billy's dad, Sam Goody Hello. What a weird day. I went up to Sam Goody around 2, and they had the special orders out, but my Gin Blossoms DVD wasn't there, Michael said it was next week. That pissed me off with January so bad, but I got over it. Anyways, I walked home (Curtis drove me up there), and on New Point Peter Road, who drives up? MS. BECKY! MY MOM!#)(% Yay. My 2nd mom! She brought me back to her place, and BILLY WAS THERE)#!($)( YEAH!#()% Billy and I talked for a bit, and I went back to my place to get my Gretsch and I went back to his place and jammed with Billy. Now, see, this is where things get good. I had written a note to Billy's father (My dad... my real one.. even if not by birth) right after my move over here. I poured my heart out. I wrote about doubting life, about feeling bad, about feeling I have no chance, about having sexual addictions. I mean, and he couldn't reach me coz I'm always on the internet, so we went into his room.. and we talked.. we talked, and what I love about him when we talk, is he does it how it should be done. He talks to me, and I know Jesus is between us. Because he tells me things I need to hear, and he tells me it in a way that honors Jesus and also helps show me how to make my life the best it could be. He went on down the line. We talked about drinking too. I told him I don't drink a lot, but when I do I usually do it too much. He told me straight out, in a scientific and religious way, how drinking is bad. He showed me how drinking in abundance is equal to Satan. I love Billy's dad when he tells me things religiously, because it also helps me help others. I mean, he tells me stuff written in the Bible, he tells me his personal experience from God, he doesn't tell me everything. He's learned not to tell anyone everything, but he has told me the bits and pieces I need to hear. While I do think he knows where I am in life, generally, I am a little more further along. I do some of the things he had recommended. I really need to tell Julie about this.. I really do. "You need an older girl.. someone 2, 3, or 4 years older than you." He said that. And he said because I need someone to teach me stuff, because I'm already smart. He only said two incorrect things about me, that he was observing. He thought I listened to hardcore stuff. I don't. He also thought I had drug problems. I didn't challenge the first one, because I've learned not to argue about music. The second, I told him I wasn't on any drugs, and he believed me. I'm not, so it's all good. Talking to him showed me I'm better off than I seem, but I still have some options available to me, and I have to be happy about life. Some of the issues in the letter had expired, but he still helped me in an overview type of way. I can't explain it. I ate two plates of spaghetti while I was over there. I don't know. He brought me some courage, and made me more assertive for the time being. He told me some stuff I needed to hear. I know I keep saying that. It shows my life sorta got knocked off the track at a certain time, and I'm slowly putting it back on. His words will help a lot. He said I could, very easily, be something special, something amazing. I mean, he is the one person who can make me believe that. Julie had me half-convinced, but now I am fully convinced. I've got some work to do, but I'm going to be something special. I gotta change my attitude, first, though. I think I'm on the right track. And, it wasn't Billy's dad (Billy my friend, not Billy my roomate) talking to me. It was Jesus talking through him. It really was. I can't explain it, but I could tell. Tim PS: I know there are some grammatical and mechanical problems in this entry, because when I write about things of this level of importance, it sort of overwhelms me, and I just want to jot it all down as it comes to my mind, without delaying. PPS: I was playing "Hey Jealousy" by the Gin Blossoms on guitar, after AMANDA()!#% got home and she just muttered "Jealousy" and I was like "Huh? Yeah! Gin Blossoms 'Hey Jealousy'". I dunno. See what I mean, everyone knows the song, but doesn't know anything about it.. (ie: who it's by) 8:39 p.m. - 2003-01-14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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