cuke15's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Not Supposed to Be Here?, missing her. Hello world! I'm starting to get depressed. It's worth it, though. As long as you know who is happy. Hehe. *sigh*. DARLING.. IT APPEARS TO ME.. THAT YOU COULD USE A DATE TONIGHT.. *dances to prince* Anyways, yeah. I'm pretty down today. Things just seem empty today. My mom didn't bring my taco bell home yesterday, so today she is. I guess that's a good thing. Nothing seems as good as it can be, which is really depressing. I know there's more than life than this. I guess I just have to try and make the best of the situation and just get by. There have been so many times over the past two months in which I have wished I just had someone to talk to. Someone I could feel safe getting advice from. I wish I had some sort of insurance. I sure could use a therapist. God, that sounds lame. I've got my innocence maintained for once, now I just have to figure out how to live without Chrissy for now. Sometimes I think it'd be better if she just told me she didn't want anything to do with me. I know I've said that before. It would crush me at first, but at least I wouldn't be unsure of her feelings. I think I'm too sad for this life. I get suicidal sometimes. Not like I used to. This time I just keep it to myself until I want to cry (or I actually do cry)... until something comes along and takes my mind off of things for a while. Maybe someone is trying to tell me I'm not supposed to be in the world anymore. I guess I'll think about that. That would make sense. I don't know what I could write that could gratify me or show my feelings. I guess I just miss her. Chrissy. Tim 2:29 p.m. - 2002-07-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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