cuke15's Diaryland Diary

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The night, Chrissy, a couple of books, Candlebox - Far Behind

Ok.. well this is an entry plus some song lyrics. Lucky you. Two for the price of one.

Anyways, I just wanted to reiterate that I had a fun time, but it just felt aqwuard and there was a feeling on my behalf for something more. I'm sure Chrissy felt the same way, but with a different spin on it. Hopefully things will iron out though. That's all I can really think of right now, plus I'm downloading Candlebox. Candlebox is such a sad band. It's horribly depressing, but so real. They sound like they'd rock live. My fucking throat hurts. Gee, I wonder why. Anyways, I think it's time to unlock this things. I'm sure everyone can look at the things I wrote as a release and I'm sure they can tell by how I treat them how I truly feel about them. I've come to a conclusion that we all have some sort of paranoia. Shawn and Chrissy seem to have a paranoia of getting caught, I have a paranoia of people not liking me. It's weird. I couldn't be less nervous about ever being caught doing stuff, but I have a huge relationship paranoia. I wonder if anyone can support my theory. Anyways, I've got two books I'm looking at. They're supposed to be really good and I'm supposedly able to relate to them. Julie says (btw, she's being a bitch lately) that I can relate to Huxley's book.. but the two books are John Fante's "Ask the Dust" and Aldous Huxley's "Brave New World". If anyone has read either of these, I'd like to hear some opinions. I'm gonna go for now.

Tim

Here's the song: (Candlebox - Far Behind)

Now maybe 
I didn't mean to treat you bad 
But I did it anyway 
And now maybe 
Some would say your life was sad 
But you lived it anyway 
And so maybe 
Your friends they stand around they watch your crumble 
As you falter to the ground 
And then someday 
Your friends they stand beside as you were flying 
Oh you were flying oh so high 

But them someday people look at you for what they call their own 
They watch you suffer 
Yeah they hear you calling home 
But then some day we could take our time 
To brush the leaves aside so you can reach us 
But you left me far behind 

Now maybe 
I didn't mean to treat you oh so bad 
But I did it anyway 
Now maybe some would say you're left with what you had 
But you couldn't share the pain 

No, no, no 
Couldn't share the pain, they watch you suffer 

Now maybe I could have made my own mistakes 
But I live with what I've known 
And then maybe we might share in something great 
But won't you look at where we've grown
Won't you look at where we've gone
But then someday comes tomorrow holds a sense of what I feel for you in my mind 
As you trip the final line 
And that cold day when you lost control 
Shame you left my life so soon you should have told me 
But you left me far behind 
Now maybe I didn't mean to treat you oh so bad 
But I did it anyway 
Now maybe some would say you're left with what you had 
But you couldn't share the pain 
No, no, no 

Oh no 
Oh no no no no... 
Now maybe I didn't mean to treat you oh so bad 
But I did it anyway 
Now maybe some would say you're left with what you had 
But you couldn't share the pain 
I said times have changed your friends 
They come and watch you crumble to the ground 
They watch you suffer 
Yeah, they hold you down 
Hold you down 
Now maybe brother, maybe love 
I didn't mean to treat you bad 
But you left me far behind 
Left me far behind 
Left me far 
Behind 

4:03 a.m. - 2002-07-08

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