cuke15's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ...continued. Well she just left again.. all I can say is I'm not going to stay around if she doesn't want to. I'm not going to make this against her will. I know this all has to do with what did happen last night. I'm horribly depressed now. I am crying now. I haven't been this depressed in a long time. I sit here and feel like this whole thing was just something she said she was fully into until something went against her will. I don't know. I feel that way. It hurts, so horribly bad... "that bastard had his chance"...or being told that someone was told about how small my dick is. All these insensitive remarks. They hurt me so badly. They still ring today. How could someone I loved so much, put so much energy into, how could they say things like that after the relationship we had? As far as I know we just stopped talking because of a disagreement, not because of a fucking felony crime. I'm so scared. I don't want it to go back to that. No one even fucking cares or understands except Chrissy.. but what happens when she fades away? Can't my life just be alright for once? Not like anyone cares.. not Leona, Dyanne, Michelle, Billy, Sheri. I don't know about Shawn. I'm guessing he doesn't, though. No one else seems to. My life is so used up and I want a new one, I wish I could just give up on this life, but I can't. The sun is going down, and even that's hurting me. I need the sunlight now to reassure me. I don't think anyone can understand that last comment, but oh well. What I need I dont think I can have. I'm just going to go for now... I hope all this makes you incredibly fucking happy Kate. Tim 8:10 p.m. - 2002-06-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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