cuke15's Diaryland
Diary
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Chrissy
Don't read this. It's sad.Check the earlier entry, too. "Time to take her home, her dizzy head is conscience laden". - when STP sings "Big Empty", the feeling of this song reminds me of coming home from planetfest with Chrissy's head in my lap.. and kissing her.. I told her I want to be her friend, but I don't. I don't want anything unless it's completely safe and won't hurt me. I'm sick of being hurt over the same stupid shit. Maybe it's my love for Chrissy, my view of her almost as an ex-wife figure, someone I want desperatly to work out with, but don't know how to do it, so I just give up. Anyways, she had a little list of shit on her diary, I think I'll do it. Here goes: 12 things that annoy you: 1. fighting a sexual addiction, and winning.. i never thought I'd enjoy being addicted to sex and lust, but I know it'll be better when I'm not.
2. hate
3. when people think "being different" is the way to live your life, when living your life should be "being yourself", which would make you have some differences and some simularities.
4. the way certain clubs and big venues turn the lights all the way up in between sets, instead of halfway up.. it fucking gives you a headache.
5. asshole band members who treat you like shit, even though you're paying their bills. I vow never to be like that.
6. the idea that the more people you have on your side, the more correct you are
7. heroin... RIP Layne Staley
8. The fact that the first citywide power outtage in 25 years in Jacksonville happened the night of the Local H/Chevelle show.
9. People wasting their amazing talents. (eg: Backstreet Boys, great singers... Linkin Park, great musicians (yet selling out), Courtney Love (amazing stage presence, great guitarist.. but a bitch and fucking her fans over)
10. Competing to see who can be better, instead of giving it your all and being happy.
11. Being smooshed by the angry group of kids at the punk shows who want a bigger pit (remember Leo and Chelle :) ).. I wish I were one of them, then I wouldn't hate it.. oh well.
12. Religion (in it's common sense). The only religion the world needs is love. People need to just learn to get along. 11 people you'd want to spend more time with: (I spend enough time with Dyanne already). 1. D.Grady of Injected, very down to earth and fun to talk to.. I still remember Sheri yelling "I LOVE CUCUMBERS I LOVE CUCUMBERS" then seeing her embarassed as I told D. Grady "i'd like you to meet my friend Sheri, Sheri this is D. Grady.. the lead singer of Injected".
2. Sheri
3. Leona
4. Billy
5. Ryan of Greenwheel. He liked M3 and put me on the guestlist for Savannah (even tho it was a free show! hahah). He thought it was funny when I told him Sheri thought he was gay. (Remember that Sheri?)
5. Kate. G'day AUSSIE MATE! i'mma visit ya soon!
6. Chrissy. When I'm mad at her, it's a special kind of mad. When I'm attracted to her, it's a special kind of attraction. When I'm with her, it's a different type of relationship. She knows what I'm talking about, sadly we grew apart, there's always the future, though.
7. Scott of Local H. Didn't get to know him, he was already drunk. :)
8. Kristie. She holds it down for me in Hollywood and helps get the west coast music scoop for me on the m3 message boards.
9. Hugo of Tantric. Even though his band is getting bad remarks from kids, he's the nicest person I've ever met, other than Billy. Leo, Chelle, and Sheri can vouch for that.
10. My mom.
11. My Brother. 10 things you're looking forward to: 1. Butch Walker & Left Front Tire
2. Butch Walker & Lit & Live
3. Default, Injected, Greenwheel, and Silverchair for free
4. Hearing Chrissy's response to the IM I sent her.
5. Getting the 10 episode Spongebob DVD.
6. Taking care of children.. somehow, even if they aren't my own.. I could get a community job. That's down the line though
7. Falling in love one time where it doesn't have to end. (I'm still faithful!)
8. Injected coming back to Jacksonville.. hopefully soon.
9. Going to Australia to visit Kate and look at the kangaroos around her house (she has one named Skip :) )
10. Talking to Dyanne soon. 9 Things You Wear Daily: 1. My Striped Arm Socks!
2. Boxers...
3. My Glasses
4-9. a smile (If I were to go out daily, there would be more stuff.) 8 Movies You'd Watch Over and Over: 1. This Is Spinal Tap!
2. Cruel Intentions
3. Girl
4. Forrest Gump
5. Can't Hardly Wait
6. Hype!
7. Top Gun (one of my favs growin up, always wanted to be a pilot).
8. Almost Famous 7 bands you've seen more than once: Seen more than once in a concert sense:
1. Stroke 9 (4 times)
2. The Marvelous 3 (3 times)
3. Oleander (twice)
4. Injected (twice)
5. Tantric (twice)
6. will soon be Greenwheel
7. will soon be Butch Walker (if you add him to the M3 totals, it'll be 5 times!) 6 objects you touch everyday: 1. My keyboard
2. Chalupa
3. My acoustic guitar
4. My electric guitar
5. my bed
6. the remote control for the TV 5 things you do everyday: 1. Think
2. Sing
3. Play Guitar
4. Talk on the internet
5. Watch "Cheers" 4 foods you couldn't live without: 1. Bacon
2. Pizza
3. Chocolate Eclairs
4. Enchiladas 3 Of Your Favorite Songs At the Moment: 1. Local H - All the Kids Are Right
2. Queen - Somebody to Love (got the 8 CD box set)
3. The Ducks - XXX Internet (unsigned band.. great song about runnin up a credit card bill on sex sites! really funny, but sad.. coz he's serious about it). 2 people who have influenced your life the most: 1. Chrissy
2. Butch Walker.. for as he said "if someone's telling you you're doing wrong for doing what you wanna do, smoking what you wanna smoke, listening to the kinda music you wanna listen to, wearing your hair you want to, or wearing your own type of clothes.. you know what you can do.. you can tell them to stick it up their ass... then you can say "I don't want to... be the one who.. does everything like I'm told to". Butch & Chrissy are a lot alike in that sense. 1 Person You Could Spend the Rest of Your Life With: 1. My unborn child.. once I make one, if I make one. Well that was fun! Depressing though. I've grown a lot in the music community. I guess because I go see smaller bands, I've had the opportunity to grow closer to them and realize them for who they really are (The one's i've met atleast). Tim
11:06 p.m. - 2002-05-18
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