cuke15's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Depressed as Fuck I'm having a shitty night. I've thought about Chrissy all day. I don't mean to, it just happens. I don't know. I felt so depressed today, just because it was just me and my mom on Thanksgiving, for the first time ever. My Mom even had to leave for work at 9 PM. I just had this reoccuring though of sitting down.. on the floor.. with my legs outwards.. and Chrissy in my lap, with her legs around my sides, pointed away from mine, you get the picture. I was picturing she was holding me, and I was holding her. We had our heads over each others shoulders just holding each other, running our hands up each others back. It was very romantic, but I was crying. I guess I wanted her to comfort me more than anything at the time. I wanted her to hold me, in any way possible, as a friend or as more, I didn't care. I still want her to. I feel so alone and afraid right now. I'm so frustrated with how things are. I don't know what has caused me to feel like this today, I just do. Hopefully it's only temporary. I hope Mike is helping Chrissy. I hope she just doesn't come home Monday and doesn't come online. That would suck. I don't know how scared I would become if she left for another month and a half. I'd probably adapt, like usual, but it's better with her around. Is it so bad to want the past back? I wonder what she wants. I know she wants the old Jeremy back. I wonder what she thinks about me. Tim 5:08 a.m. - 2001-11-23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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