cuke15's Diaryland Diary

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Marvelous 3, People, Life, Major Venting

Hello,
I've been listening to The Marvelous 3 all day. Them and Buckcherry. I've been really bummed out about m3, even if Butch says it's not a bad thing. I don't even want to think about it. It's like.. hey there's a perfect band.. oh look, the chemistry between the three (four with JJ) won't be seen again, unless they get back together later in the future. I mean, FUCK ELEKTRA RECORDS. I'm listening to "The Last Sleep", most bands with major label production can't make a song sound that good. I feel like such a bad person. I mean, I'm pissed at Butch. I don't know why. I'm pissed at Jayce. I don't know why. I still love them to death, though. They've changed my life. I just couldn't imagine it happening. Butch never replied to my emails, but I read stories about how he responds to people within 10 minutes. It makes me think that he's just interested in the females. Of course, I could be just completely wrong. I guess my high standards we're just too much and it all blew up. I'm still a Marvelous 3 freak. I just don't know. I'm confused. I'm probably contridicting myself so many times. That's just because I'm confused. The Marvelous 3 fans have been great to me. They've listened to me. I just wish I knew more. I just have a hard time believing stuff right now. I mean, to me, this was something unbelieveable that just happened. It's just the chemistry. The fun they had on stage, everything. I don't want all the Marvelous 3 fans to hate me now, though, beacuse of this entry. I'm still a Marvelous 3 fan, I always will be. I met Butch outside of their bus in Jacksonville once. He signed Hey! Album for me. I guess he does care about guy fans. I don't know. I'm just really confused. I just hope the outcome of this turns into something good.

IN OTHER NEWS; Heather and I are getting along again, rather nicely I might add. I'm kinda confused about Sheri, though. Leona says that Sheri and Heather were talking when they went to the waterpark (when Heather and I were fighting) and that they were talking but she doesn't remember about what. Sheri doesn't seem to have the same desire to talk to me anymore, though. I told Leona I just wish I knew what she thought about me. I don't want to irritate her and talk to her when I piss her off. It seems like now a days, pissing off people is the only thing I can do. I think differently from everyone else. I try to be sweet as hell, but people talk about me for some reason. It's like "oh boy, he did it to me, he's gonna do it to everyone". Which isn't fair, nor true. It's not the first it has happened. I feel alone. What else is new? Laura never calls me. Heather told me that her and Hale getting married was just a joke, so now I have to ask Laura. I'm sick of being lonely at night, and depressed. I get betrayed so much. I'm whining and complaining.. yeah.. so? It's a diary, I confess shit here so I don't take it out on other people. If people want to read and change, go for it. Better for me. If people want to read about it and not change, no problem. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I use this diary as a way to let emotions out, not to beat up on other people. I do that so I can love everyone and try to have the best possible view of everyone and everything in this world, that way I can make the best choices.

I didn't mention it, but I listened to some Buckcherry earlier as well. Not that much, though. People, please drop me a line and tell me you don't hate me. If you don't know me, sign my guestbook, tell me you're feeling what I'm saying and why I'm saying. If you want me to elaborate on my feelings, go ahead. This diary is, for me, a way to make things the best possible in my life and, for you, it is intended to let you know more about me and more about the issues I go through. Thank You To Anyone Who Reads This.

Tim

6:50 p.m. - 2001-07-16

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