cuke15's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chrissy & Stuff Chrissy and I are back together, and I don't think we're even going to acknowledge the break up. I've been a dick to her, a lot, right up until this morning. Things changed, though. I rode my bike to Shawn's. It didn't feel too great being around her at first, but that's probably because I had just rode as fast as I could from my place to Shawns on 2 flat bike tires and I was hot and could barely breath. Sometime, though, after things calmed down and Chrissy was wreslting to get Shawn to get up so we could get Shrek, I started to realize that Chrissy is quite an amazing person, and somehow I looked at our bond in a different way. The first chance I got to talk to her I told her I wasn't going to be such an asshole anymore, I told her I know it's always great when we're together, but this time is going to be different, and I'm not going to stop being nice just because she can't find a way to be with me. This whole fucking problem is something I need to grow from, and I think I finally have found what can help me grow from it. If I feel so great being with Chrissy, I should be happy for everything we do have, and not worry if a plan falls through. We were acting like soulmates, bestfriends, and significant others today and it reminded me of how things were when we first started going out in 99. Oh, and just so I don't forget. Shawn was watching us! Mwhahaha.. My goal is to find other things to keep me occupied, and I have some ideas. That way Chrissy won't have to feel like she has to live up to everything I want her to be, because she doesn't. I rode my bike up to the store when she said she wanted ramen noodles and some raspberries. It gave me time to think for myself, plus it gave me a little bit of solace to do something for her after all the shit I've done to her. Tim 5:59 a.m. - 2002-06-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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