cuke15's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- accomplished goal/blind/greensmurf.com Hello. Sometime in either December, January, or February I had decided to make a goal for myself to try and write in this diary every single month of 2003. I decided that because I had never done that in a complete year. Well, I just now realized that I have finally accomplished that goal. It's funny how other goals have quickly overshadowed this. The goal to get a job, to support what is mine and what is to be mine. I'm trying hard, my hardest. It's still upsetting a lot of people that I haven't found a job yet. Laur and I have decided to go up to North Point Parkway tomorrow for me to get applications there. I can always just take a bus over there. I didn't even think about that possibility, probably because I was so worried about the cost of taking the bus every day. I guess until you have your wife's brother setting it straight in your face that you really don't think so clearly. "It only costs $1.75 to ride MARTA one way, so as long as you're making $3.50 every day, you're helping." I guess that's just how it seems. I guess I had thought that after MARTA, I wouldn't even have enough to help Laura pay half the rent. We had went on and talked about that, but I'm not helping at all right now. I need to be and as much as David probably doesn't see the whole picture, he's absolutely right. One of these days I'll thank him for it, too. I deserved everything I got, in all honesty. Laura may not be telling people my side, but it shouldn't matter. I need to keep pushing my best to help, and just the meer fact that she has something to be worried about shows that I have work that needs to be done. I complained about lack of motivation. It disgusts me looking back on it to realize that me having a baby on the way hasn't been 100% motivation for me. I think it's time to reevaluate things and find what is best for the child. To find a job within walking distance anywhere from any MARTA stop or station, all over the Atlanta metro. My first few goals are to find a job within the MARTA reach, and to find out how far the nearest bus stop is. Even though I was doing my best, trying every day to find a job, I wasn't seeing clear enough to see that I wasn't actually doing my best. I don't think it was an error in my way, but just a cloudiness. Oh well, the only thing that will set things right with everyone is to find a job. I'm going to need help figuring out these system maps from MARTA, though. I'll keep you guys updated. Also, I wanted to mention that I recently purchased a domain, greensmurf.com. I plan on doing reviews and articals there. I'll keep you updated, it's DNS isn't up yet. When the domain is finally delegated, it should resolve to my local host, which has Laura's blog currently. That won't be up too much longer, though, as she's moved back to Xanga. So I'll keep you updated on that too. Tim 11:27 p.m. - 2003-12-10 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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