cuke15's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- even more. Hello. I can't sleep anymore right now. I feel so dirty and empty. I need a shower. My stomach growls though I'm not hungry. Maybe I am hungry but my body is putting my stomach on standby. I don't know. I guess I just feel more aware of things today. Not outside things, I've actually been kind of numb to everything around me. Sensory to all that I feel inside and all that concerns myself but numb to the outside. I'm trying to concern myself as much as possible to how Laura's doing as well. Of course, we're feeling very similar from what I know. She's probably going through it a little more nervous, though. It is her body and she has a lot to think about. We both do, her especially. Life goes between this feeling of Heart's "These Dreams" and the Verve Pipe's "Freshmen". I've been fighting the urge to listen to Freshmen ever since I found out. I don't want it to feel like that song, but I guess it's just initial fears. I think things will roll over. I think "Freshmen" is about abortion, though, which we really don't think is going to happen. We know, to be honest. I guess it could relate to pregnancy too. Actually I'm sure this song is about abortion, now. I don't know. I don't even like that word. I don't like the idea. I'm just glad Laura doesn't like it either, because it's her body and her choice in the end. I guess it would be a little crazy to talk about other things right now, but when we get our money from Athens on Sunday we got to buy guinea pig food. Tim 4:08 a.m. - 2003-09-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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