cuke15's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- more Hello again. So yeah, I'm here. Just I'm so empty. It's a very confusing thing, to be honest. It's a great thing, a good thing, but I just don't know. We're not ready for it, but we'll be ready when time comes. I'm sure it's still going to surprise us, but we'll do fine if we come to that decision. I wrote an entry in my diary that I thought I would put in here. My paper diary, I mean. --- -9/11/03 5:30 PM- Hi. So guess what? Laura is pregnant. I'm really scared to be honest, and it shows. It feels like I'm being hunted & I'm trying to avoid the bully who wants to beat me up. You know; it's funny. A few weeks ago I wrote an entry in my online diary about how I was just nineteen years old, how I had my life in my hands & everyday was an adventure to be taken advantage of & now that day is gone. I don't know, I prayed to God to help give me strength & then I got the sign that I needed self-control. I didn't listen and now there's a baby, due in July probably. I'm scared & I know it's my time to grow up. It's my time to deal with this. If I don't then I've failed as a person. I've always ran these scenarios though my mind. I've always based my morals on the way I acted in those fantasy scenarios. I always invisioned myself not running away. I'm not. I just need to be the best I can be from here on out. I'm just not sure. Sometimes I doubt my abilities to get off my backside and work. Doubts are Satan, though. Jesus gives me strength to get through this and Jesus gave me this gift. I must do what I must do. I just need Jesus to show me what I must do and give me the strength & tools to get there. It's funny because I used to be the kind of guy who thought this was easy to prevent, and it is unless you wrap yourself in sin & become a hypocrite and fall for the things you knew you could have sworn you weren't gonna fall into. I guess I'll keep you updated. -- In the Bible it says a baby is a blessing, and I guess that's what I have to realize. It's tough, but I got to go through it. Tim PS: Correction: May/June is more probable. 7:00 p.m. - 2003-09-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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