cuke15's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Entry #10 while I was away... (My weekend with Constance) So hello. How's everyone doing? Me? I don't know. I've had an incredible weekend. Constance came over on Saturday around 5:30 we went out driving around and eventually we called Chrissy and asked her if she'd like to go out to Pizza Hut with Constance and I. So her, Tony, and Shawn came and met us at Pizza Hut. First we (Constance and I) went to the Post Office to turn in my change of address form. Then we went down to Crooked River and then up to the Sugarmill across from one of the base gates. The Sugarmill thingee was creepy. Blair Witch Project shit. Pizza Hut was cool, although for the fact that Chrissy had neglected to tell me she had a boyfriend, which really disturbs me. Tony is cool though, I like Tony. He's probably not going to like me too well after I get to today's (Monday) events, though. So that was basically what we had done on Saturday night. We came back home and watched "Lean On Me." Because I love that movie. We also watched a bit of Spongebob. The next morning was pretty fun. I don't think we woke up until about 1. I may be wrong, though. So Sunday we went up to Harriets Bluff and played around with Leona for awhile. We also went get my application from Friendly Express. We went back home and I think watched some more Spongebob, then I called up Dyanne and asked her what she was up to and she said come on over. So we went over and talked for a while, I played her Gretsch. (I like mine more). Then we talked for awhile and eventually her boyfriend (Dyanne's) showed up. First we went to Huddle House and I had some grits and coffee because I'm nasty like that. Dy had a coke and a hamburger. Brett and Constance both got hot cholocolate and Brett also had two slices of toast. We then went to the different parks in the county and ended up in one just ouside of downtown Kingsland that I've had some fun in before. We played on all the playground, but I ended up really hurting my foot. It's all bruised and stuff. I dropped my application off at Friendly Express. Dy and Brett then left our presence and we went to Point Peter Park and Constance gave me beginners driving lessons. We went home and watched "Stripes" and "The Muppets Christmas." I don't remember the muppets Christmas one, but I thought of DREW and YOU when JANICE MUPPET came on. I also was freaking out (because I don't remember) when the two headed monster from Sesame Street came out as Santa! Rock on. We went to bed then, and woke up and we went to Dy's and she wasn't home (she already left), so I called Shawn and we went to go pick him up. First we went to the hospital and I signed up to donate blood. Then we went to the park and practiced driving some more a bit. Then we went to the bookstores downtown and they had a book on being an Air Traffic Controller. Next we went up to the library in Kingsland and I got some books. I got "The Many Faces of Journaling: Topics & Techniques for Personal Journal Writing" by Linda C. Senn, "The Complete Idiots Guide to Getting Published" (!!!) by Sheree Bykofsky and Jennifer Basye Sander, and "Air Traffic Controller Training Program" by Dr. James E. Turner. Next we went back downtown but eventually decided we were going to go and get Chrissy. So we went to Chrissy's and she was drunk. Big surprise. Smoking out in the woods. I don't know, we eventually went inside and her mom was there and it felt really aqwuard for me to be there, so eventually we left, luckily. Chrissy wanted to get Tony, so we went up to Harriet's Bluff and I wanted to see Leona (on the way), so we went and I had Constance slow down at Leona's stop and Chrissy had asked where we were going and I told her Leonas and she was like "I don't wanna go to Leonas right now, we'll go on the way back" and she was like "I WANNA GO TO TONY'S#!%#!" really loud and I said "I want to go see Leona, we'll go see Tony next." and she said "NO..." and by this time Constance missed the turn and I got pissed and turned the radio up loud and then I started thinking... (as Chrissy began to continue her sentance.) I started thinking.."this is so typical..." I left everyone in the car in my mind so I could be within myself for a little while. "this is so very typical of the 3 years I've known Chrissy... even when we were going out, there's no comprimise with her. She's just so forceful in her own playful ways, and it's not very fair. She's busy fucking up her life and it's making things hard on her." Then I started to realize just why I dislike Chrissy so much. Sure I love our past, but I realize what I really dislike now. She's fake in herself. She is so very fake. She's hurting herself with every bad word which slips from her mouth that is directed at the wrong person. She hurts herself when she only thinks of herself. She hurts herself when she drinks so much. I mean, this is the only time I'm really DISGUSTED and like nothing about Chrissy.. when she drinks. But it just makes me think.. I'm trying so hard to have a life that she's trying so hard to run from. It really, honestly, disgusts me. A lot. It's absurd to think about. I'm struggling so hard, crying every night, feeling the pain in my stomach, praying for someone to just listen to me, praying not to lose what I have. Yet she's the one forcing herself into a crying situation, forcing herself into the stomach aches, forcing herself to beg for mercy, forcing herself to eventually lose what she has. She's living her life her way, but I can't live it for her. I guess I just don't know. Anyways, we all went to the waterfront and eventually Constance and I left for the Pavillion. I thought of Julie a little bit at the pavillion. That happens sometimes in Saint Marys. Anyways Chrissy and Tony came up and I gave them the impression that Constance and I wanted to be alone, and they even asked "Do you want us to leave you alone forever?" and I was like "yes" multiple times, after they asked multiple times. They didn't leave. That ties into the whole not caring about the people she's not respecting. Anyways, we all left, me in a bad mood.. Then something happened.. You hafta ask me about it. haha. Then we all left and we dropped Chrissy off at home, still being the drunken person she had been the whole night, she was fumbling around asking if she left anything behind and I said no a couple of times, and she asked again and I said "JUST GO ALREADY!" and she finally got the picture that she's pissing me off and said "Fine...jesus.. bye bye" and left. It was kind of funny, actually.. but it's way too stupid of her. You say shit and she pretends she doesn't hear it, but she's just doing this played out act. I may be the only one who's sick of it, or who will ever get sick of it, but I know that the cuteness is just a cover up of what's really inside her, what she's afraid to show. That's another thing that pisses me off. I've lost all reason of liking Chrissy, but because I'm fucked up I can never stop liking Chrissy. Sad really. Oh well. I want to talk to YOU, I miss YOU. Contact me, YOU! Tim 8:47 p.m. - 2002-12-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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