cuke15's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Julie, Bush, Chrissy, Leo, Tetrinet Hello world. I've had a grand night. Julie came home and we're getting along really well. She got my mind off my loneliness for a while. Right before we got off the phone, a couple minutes ago, I was playing "Bonedriven" by Bush on the phone to her. I actually didn't butcher it like I usually did. I did a grand fucking job. Yes, I'm a cocky bastard, but oh fucking well. Hehe. I can't help but feel weird, though. I thought about locking my diary from everyone except Leo & Katie, but I decided not to. I had a lot of emotions bottled up inside I was going to spray in here. A lot of frustration building up. Julie helped me get a lot of it out though. Reow. So what if things aren't perfect in my life, at least people care. Eventually they'll relize that they've lost someone who cares about them and come back. I'm saying that mostly about Chrissy, but there are one or two others I guess that could apply to. I refuse to be the one to back down and fall in and be walked over. Not this time. Hehe. "She doesn't know my name...She doesn't know her name... DING! everytime that I call, she can't remember at all, and that's the last time I fall for Alicia Amnesia!" This album fucking owns. "Sober" and "Too Far From Close" remind me of Chrissy. "Sober" is exactly the result of what happened because of what was said in "Too Far From Close". About her not being wanting to walk thru the plastic wall, a very thin wall, and meet my heart. Where it goes... "Can you tell me why it all went down in flames, was it coz it I made it thru and you were just too fucked up to?" So it becomes "Is it me, or is this over?". Very sad. Especially since it didn't have to work out like that. So now we're both back to missing each other. I don't care, though. It'll work out eventually, though. I have faith. I can wait forever. I'm just not giving in and coming back, since I always am the one to do it. "If (Jeannie's Song)" and "Take Tomorrow (One Day at a Time)" remind me of a lot of my other friends with problems. I didn't get to talk to Leo much yesterday.. I didn't wake up until 7 PM. Kazu (her bf) is a fucking tetrinet God. It's not fair. He's a natural. She's pretty good too. They team up on me, though, because they know I'm good. So I always lose first. Oh well. Hehe. Maybe I just suck... who knows. I'm gonna go. I think I've said everything like I wanted to. Tim 4:51 a.m. - 2002-07-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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