cuke15's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chrissy, I finally broke down and read Chrissy's diary. She seems to still think about the same things as me at the same times I do. Like while watching the Daria movie. So anyways, we talked last night on Yahoo. It gave me a lot of faith that something is going to happen sooner or later, but not 100%. I think she thinks she is my soul mate, but she's in a really scared state of being hurt. I think that's why she didn't let things go too deep in the relationship. I told her that too. Another weird thing is, the second we broke up I took off her bracelet and lost it and when we started talking again earlier.. a couple minutes after she left I found it again and I wasn't even looking for it. What kind of confused me is why she thought that I was happier, or that she thought I could be happier, without her. I don't know what the whole situation is, or the whole current situation. The only reason I let her go is because if it was meant to be she'd come back. I wanted her to come back so bad after we broke up. Blah, I'm not going to go too deep into this. I already went through it all when I told her last night and it sorta depresses me (but at the same time, oddly relieves me) when I do talk about it. It turns out I never deleted her username/password when we broke up. I never had any intentions to, but I always thought I had deleted them. I don't know why. I guess I just wanted to write what I feel. It also didn't turn out in her diary correct when she said in her diary she KNEW when we talked we'd fight, and I wasn't even trying not to fight, I was just acting how I felt. I can't stand fighting with her and I wasn't trying to and I'm sure when we talk today or tomorrow we won't fight at all either. I guess that means I wasn't trying to fight and I wasn't trying not to fight, I was just letting it flow, and we still didn't fight. I think that she's so screwed up relationship wise that she can't even look at a person as faithful as I have been and put complete trust in them that they're (or I'm) not going to hurt her. I do think it's just a situation you just have to jump into, keep trying, and see if it works (and I'm the one who thinks it will). I don't run her life, though. In other news, I'm bored. Tim 4:19 p.m. - 2002-07-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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