cuke15's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chrissy. You know.. I'm convinced I was just put onto this just so Chrissy could hurt me. She swore we were soul mates, and then I finally gave in and did everything to help, now she says she knows we're not soul mates, even though I wanted to break up before then because I told her she wasn't my soul mate, yet she insisted she was. Now, 2 days later, after I give her a chance, we break up, I get crushed, and I'm not her soul mate in her eyes? Does this not make sense? She was just trying to hert me, and I'm going to be the nice guy and let her have that. I'm hurt. She's a good person, but yeah, I should have listened to my own words, she's a shitty girlfriend. She wouldn't have been happy unless I was hurt, that's why she couldn't have settled telling me 3 days ago that i wasn't her soul mate, She had to tell me she was, give me some faith, let me try and fix things, make things easier for her, then put words into my mouth and say I'm not getting what I want and then crush me and THEN tell me I'm not her soul mate. I was the one happy in the relationship, and I'm allowing myself to be victimized by letting her say that we broke up for what she says we did. She says we have different wants. I can't think of one. I want what she wants. If she wants to get my hopes up, insist we're soul mates, let me fall deeper, then break it up and then tell me we're not soulmates. I'm fine with it. So, yeah, I'm done with my bitching. I was feeling really good all day up until I got a phone call from Heather and she said something that kind of hurt, but it's not her fault. I'm going to be bothered, because I'm realizing this, but I'll get better eventually, I always do. Chrissy only comes back to me when I'm not thinking about her... notice the diary.. when I don't write about her, she feels things for me.. I'll eventually get over her. She'll eventually know what it's like to be the one who tries but has it mess up. She'll know how it feels to be hurt over stuff. My bitching is only making me weaker in this, and giving her an advantage.. so I don't know why I'm doing it, but oh well. I should feel better tomorrow. Tim 10:05 p.m. - 2002-06-28 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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