cuke15's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A note to Lisa, why things are the way they are. Hello world. A while ago, on September 4th, 2001. (that was a week before September 11th). I wrote a very somber note out of missing a friendship. It was never delivered, and I don't plan on it's delivery. I'm including it here so people can get a look at my thought process; my bad sides, my good sides, and everything else. I just feel the urge to write this in my diary, and think it's worthy because it's an intimate look at some of what I feel, and I'll explain to you how this part of my life helped me grow. I don't know if anyone reads this, but if you do, tell me you read this. This was written to my ex, Lisa Gamble. My relationship with her was well documented in this diary. Look for it if you're interested. A lot of people call me thoughtless, and fearless.. if I was fearless I would have the balls to send this letter. I don't know. Here goes. (I guess this is a testament of my shyness). 9/4/2001 7:43 AM Lisa, We'll start from the beginning... Confession #2 Apology #2 Confession #3 I miss your friendship. I miss us. I know none of this shit will ever happen again. So I at least have to thank you for the Valentine's Day on which we met and for the great friendship we had until I fucked it up. (which I don't admit to doing on too many circumstances.) If you read this far, thank you. Timothy S. Mason I know it sounds lame, but I just don't feel right with how I acted, even though my intentions were right. I think it was the final step I needed to learn in this relationship buisness. I needed to learn to display my inside emotions on the outside. I did. Learning to do that has had consequences. Everyone knows when I'm pissed with them, and sometimes they don't like it. I don't really care, though. Things will work out eventually if I feel I'm wrong and apologize and change, or if they feel they apologize and show the will to change, or are willing to change to make a sacrifice. I know that sounds selfish, but it would be even more selfish of me to lead them on. I sacrifice anything I can, as long as I'm not being abused, or treated without respect. That's all I have to say. Hopefully all I've said has taught you something about me. I'd like to know what. Remember, if you've read this to tell me. Tim 7:07 a.m. - 2002-05-08 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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