cuke15's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - I don't really write personal stuff anymore, but I'll write this for my own good. I don't really have a problem with moving to warner robins, I don't feel anyone has failed me. What I've been telling Laura is I'm just worried I'll never have a real job. I've never said I didn't want to move or even given that impression. What I have said is I don't want to live with her parents for five years. It always feels like I'm misquoted and then all these people who are too ignorant to even listen to my side and jump to making decisions are getting mad at me. I've learned to not even give a fuck. I'm doing what's right, I'm moving for my daughter and I'm not going to be pushed around anymore. All I've been doing for the longest time now is do what's best for my daughter and my wife and I know this is best. I've never said I didn't want to move or anything like that. I just am upset for losing this opportunity, it's a lose-lose situation for me. I took the better situation in having my daughter back, which is teh most fucking important thing to me. I hate how people are seeing it as I'm being a dickhole for being upset about not gettnig this opportunity. They fail to realize that I've never sai danything to laura about not moving, about how I've never disagreed with moving, or anything like that. I'm anxious to get out of here and be with my daughter. As I had said, I'm just worried about not getting another chance like the one I have coming to me now. IM NOT SAYING I WONT MOVE OR THAT I WANT TO STAY. I CANT REPEAT THAT ENOUGH. Im sick of being held to a double standard and being hated by assholes who fail to even listen to my side of the story or acknowledge that there may even be another side. Laura writes to get her frustrations out, not to make people hate me, so I don't blame her. I know she's just writing how she feels about things. Sometimes she may think of things a way that I see completely different, which ends up making me look bad. I don't even give a fuck anymore in all honesty, but I would just like to put in writing that I NEVER SAID I DIDNT WNAT TO LEAVE and that IM LOOKING FORWARD TO LEAVING and IM NOT MAD AT LAURA and MY ONLY PROBLEM WITH THE SITUATION Is IM AFRAID I WONT EVER HAVE AS GOOD A CHANCE. If I can't be in a relationship with someone and express my concerns without being treated like I'm doing something wrong, then that's not my problem. I'm not talknig about Laura either, Laura is a great friend to me and she listens to my concerns and I nkow her entry was written before we talked. It's the people who don't even ask me or the people who treat me wrong and tell Laura to leave me based on this way I'm supposedly treating her and these things I'm supposedly saying and thinking, but are just what Laura's writing to get them out of her system. It's her handwritten way of worrying and I've finally learned to accept it because I know when I let her do it she's a much tolerable person and I can handle her and she can handle me so much better. I don't care about any of you assholes anymore who treat me like shit because of something you read without even confronting me. I'm a human too and you're an asshole. Tim 11:53 p.m. - 2005-04-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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