cuke15's Diaryland Diary
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retarded
Today was a good day. (Today for me == since the time I woke up til now) I woke up and spent time with Laura. We watched a bit of Empire Records. I got tired, though, so we just sat and talked in bed for a little bit. I really miss talking to her, and doing things with her. I think that's the toughest part of this job. I don't even get to sleep with her anymore. I don't know. Sometimes I just wish I could say fuck work, or she could just say fuck work.. even for a day.. just so we could spend the time together. We'd just mess up our schedules though. I don't know. They asked me how many hours I wanted, because I had talked to Ms. N about how I'm having a rough time getting used to the time. She said she was going to try and give me some more days off. I know she says it because she wants to cut my hours, but I know she's also saying it because she cares about me. I know she had to cut someones hours, and I just thought it'd be a decent idea for right now until I got used to the job. She said that's fine, and I can just tell her every week how many hours I want, anywhere from 15 to 40. So I asked for 20 to 26 next week. I don't know why, that just sounds like a nice moderate amount. It also gives me more time to search for other jobs. I think it's a good comprimise than quitting all together. I try and think about what's best for Laura and McKenzie and myself. I think it was a bad move to go to overnight at all, but we learn from our mistakes. I had this image in my mind about being able to learn all the poistions there are at Kroger. I mean; this is the first job I've actually loved. I love the people there. I guess I should have realized that if I was going to do the whole thing of wanting to try all the store positions that I would find jobs that I do like and don't like. I don't know. I guess it's a learning experience. I'm going to do this for atleast another month (unless we end up moving). I was thinking about cashiering a bit next. I know Ms. N is good at listening. She understood my whole idea about trying out all the store positions too. I guess it's good to have a boss to understand you. Other than that I don't have much other news. I'm in the middle of my FAFSA application. I can get student aid, and that'd help a lot if I wanted to take a course or two after work. I feel almost disgusted with myself saying that. Here I am complaining about not having anytime with Laura yet here I am talking about going to night classes. I don't know. I just want to do something with my life. I want to check out retail or some other course path like that. Since I like the whole retail field I'm in now. It sounds like such a slackers field, but it makes me happy. I'll keep my options open, though. It probably won't happen anyways. In fact, I know it won't. I already miss Laura too much and she's in the next room. *sigh*. We were talking tonight about how things are. I still love her more than I love anything I've ever loved before. I still think she's beautiful and smart and I still think she's my very best friend. It's just sometimes hard to express that when you've got so much to worry about. I try and let her know I love her though. I just wish I could do more with her and be with her more. I'm going to shut the hell up now. Everyone probably thinks I'm retarded now for thinking about getting a Retail degree.
find your inner PIE @ stvlive.com
Tim
5:21 a.m. - 2004-07-07
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